i hate this feeling. fuck.
but seriously, i have no fucking idea what kind of feeling this is.
i have no idea what to do.. i have been staring at this screen. blog surfing, even to people i don't know, fb-ing.. wasting time.
too many sleepless nights.. enough is enough.
wasted 1 week not doing anything at all.. not sleeping well.. falling sick.
what's with 1 week? it's only 1 fucking week. damnit.
but you know, and i know.. i can be rather hard on myself.
since my monitor screwed a couple of months ago, i have been using the older kind.. big and fat ones. tried to get the dvi cable to try yesterday but still can't work.. so i totally stop using my own computer altogether..
a part of me wanted to do that as a punishment for not studying.. and also hope it could help me study better.
i hate it when i feel not disciplined enough. i'm angry in fact.
i've been told that i'm very disciplined. ha. am i? not good enough in my opinion.
i get angry at myself.. i get angry when i skip school. i get angry when i didn't want to wake up. i get angry when i don't want to study. i keep getting angry at myself..
i feel angry when on the way home just now because i felt like i'm going to have fever again. but wtf. is this amount of water not enough? to think i can survive without a drop of water.. for weeks? wtf the wrong with me?
i hate it when i have so many things in my head i feel like going crazy.
seriously, just what the fuck is going on?
i should really get to bed. but i dread it.. i dread not being able to sleep.
i so fucking swear i had enough. I AM SO GONNA FALL ASLEEP SOON LATER! I WILL.
and if i don't i am going get angry at myself again.. sigh. so i hope i better be able to fall asleep.
am going over to granny's tmr. and i will make sure my table's ready for study BY tmr night.
monday, i MUST start studying.
good. is that all for now, ting?
love yourself more? you can't afford the time. 1st paper in less than 10 days.. 2 days diff for 2 papers.Labels: de trop, rants 'n' diatribes, tinges of ting, yammers
ting-ed at
